Today is 10 dpo and unfortunately I have no signs of pregnancy yet again! This is just so disappointing; I'm tired of this waiting month after month for nothing. I feel like God is not allowing me to have any kids yet and I know there must be a reason but I can't help being disappointed and upset every month. I'm almost at a point where I don't care because I can't keep torturing myself. There a lady writing a blog who has been trying for 9 years - I think that is the hardest thing in the world to keep your hopes up after 9 years. I really hope she succeeds and I hope I never get to that point, that would just kill me.
We went to Paramount's Kings Dominion this weekend (I had some free tickets from work). I am scared of roller coasters so me and my husband spent the day at the water park while my brother and my friend went to all the cool and scary rides. I wish I could go on the roller coaters but even the smallest ones make me get panic attacks so I would never dare. I did go on one when I was in high school. We were on a school trip in Austria and went to one of the big theme parks in Vienna, the Prater, so we all decided to go on a roller coaster. I had never even seen a coaster before and thought it would be loads of fun. Well, a few seconds into the ride I felt so sick and scared that I thought I was going to faint. I barely made it to the end of the ride (not that I had a choice) and then stumbled off of it and almost had a breakdown. So I've not dared get on one since then. I even get slightly sick on the Ferris Wheel :)
While we were in the water park I started feeling tenderness in my breasts so I got excited thinking it was something. But the tenderness subsided by the end of the day and I have not felt any other symptoms so I'm bummed.
I called Georgetown Hospital and made an appointment with the doctor who saw me after my chemical pregnancy. I hope there is some way he can help me without going through a fertility specialist because I just cannot afford one at this time. The earliest appointment they had was June 28 but I'll take whatever I can.
I still have to call my insurance to see what's going on because I read the full coverage details and it says that they cover tests related to infertility but not infertility treatments. You just never know with insurance companies, they always try to rip you off so I need to call them and at least try to have them cover my tests. Ugh, like I don't have enough to worry about.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
TTC Action this weekend
I'm a little sad again...trying not to be but I'm not a very patient person and this whole TTC business is just driving me nuts. I knew I was going to ovulate on Sunday or Monday so I was happy that we had sex both on Saturday and on Sunday morning thinking that we can get the momentum going for Monday. Well, last night I noticed lots of clear stretchy discharge and I knew it was ovulation time. I put on my new sexy pink underwear and I jumped into bed, started kissing my hubby, we got sort of hot and heavy and then when we got to the actual action my husband just could not do it. Performance problems, if you catch my drift. It was very awkward and disappointing because I knew the timing was perfect but nothing happened. We tried to get things going for a bit but I did not want to push it and I had to pretend like everything was OK because I did not want my husband to feel bad so I just said that I'm tired and need to go to sleep and that was it.
So unless something happened on Sunday, then we did not accomplish much this month. It totally sucks that you have these two days each month and you're supposed to have as much sex as possible during that time and once they are gone, that's it. You have to wait for a whole other month and worry and check and be anxious. Why did God do that to us??? I know when you're young and you want not to get pregnant it seems like every time you do it you could get pregnant but in reality that's not the case. And with every month gone by I just get a little less positive and a little more anxious. And I want to not pressure my husband into having sex on demand but knowing that tonight is the best night out of the month and not doing anything about it makes me very angry.
Oh, well, nothing I can do about it, we'll just have to wait and see. Another thing that worries me is that most of the time after we have sex the sperm seems to drip out of me right away. We try to do it in positions good for conceiving and I lie down with my legs lifted afterwards but when I stand up I feel like it all just drips on my legs. I wonder if that could be the reason why I'm not getting pregnant. But then what do I do about it?
So unless something happened on Sunday, then we did not accomplish much this month. It totally sucks that you have these two days each month and you're supposed to have as much sex as possible during that time and once they are gone, that's it. You have to wait for a whole other month and worry and check and be anxious. Why did God do that to us??? I know when you're young and you want not to get pregnant it seems like every time you do it you could get pregnant but in reality that's not the case. And with every month gone by I just get a little less positive and a little more anxious. And I want to not pressure my husband into having sex on demand but knowing that tonight is the best night out of the month and not doing anything about it makes me very angry.
Oh, well, nothing I can do about it, we'll just have to wait and see. Another thing that worries me is that most of the time after we have sex the sperm seems to drip out of me right away. We try to do it in positions good for conceiving and I lie down with my legs lifted afterwards but when I stand up I feel like it all just drips on my legs. I wonder if that could be the reason why I'm not getting pregnant. But then what do I do about it?
Fertility doctor's appoitnment
I finally had my appointment with a fertility specialist this morning and unfortunately things did not work out very well. I had made the appointment a couple of weeks ago, had all of my paperwork filled out and was eager to get some answers. I got to the doctor's office 15 minutes early for my 9 am appointment and was a little shocked to see that the waiting room was full of at least 10 other couples. Apparently the doctor was running late... I signed in and waited...and waited...and waited.
Finally, at 9:45 the doctor came out to get me. He looked over my medical history (no major issues), asked me a few questions about my habits (don't smoke, don't drink, exercise occasionally) and then gave me a pep talk that his success rate is over 60% for women in my situation (under 35, no major health issues) so he's sure that I'll get pregnant quickly. He told me to schedule a semen analysis for my husband and a sonogram and HSG exam for me and that was it. I was out in 15 minutes. He was very positive (although in a very learned manner) so I felt pretty good about him and on top of that I noticed he had been on the cover of the Washingtonian magazine several times as one of the top specialists in the DC area so I walked out of his office in a good mood.
Then I met with the nurse to take care of the details. She gave me a lot of papers to look over and told me to call the office on the first day of my next period. The sonogram is done on a particular day of your cycle and the HSG has to be done after my period is over and before ovulation. I guess the HSG is a little painful because they ask you to take 600 mg of ibuprofen before you go. Bu they say it only hurts a little, like cramps. The semen analysis is the fun part my husband gets to do. As the nurse said - we, women, get to be poked and probed, and the guys just have to masturbate looking at porn magazines, how unfair!
So now on to the bad part - I went to check out and was told that my insurance does not cover this visit so I'll have to pay the full amount in full, approximately $300. Needless to say I was very surprised because I had checked in advance and the doctor was covered by my PPO plan. So I went to the billing department to see what's going on and the woman there told me that my insurance covers exams but not fertility consultations and once you are diagnosed with "infertility" they do not cover anything. I told her I was not aware I was diagnosed with infertility and I was referred to them to have some tests done to find out whether I had infertility. She was very rude and told me that if I have been trying for a year and not gotten pregnant I was considered infertile. I got very upset and asked to see a manager, which wasn't much help at all. I told her that they were supposed to check with my insurance beforehand and inform me if there were nay problems to which she responded that they tried to call the insurance but they must have written their number incorrectly so they could not call them. Considering I made my appointment 2 weeks prior, they had plenty of time to call me and get the correct number, but she said that people are human and make mistakes. By that point I was just outraged by their rudeness, upset that I had to pay over $300 and just generally very emotional so I told her that I do not agree with what they are saying but I will pay the money if I have no other choice. I just wanted to leave! She continued telling me that it was my fault I did not contact my insurance, even though I had already explained to her that I did and I had no way of knowing that I was going to have a "consultation" and not an "exam" which is covered but I was very sad because of the way they were treating me. So in the end, they agreed to try to submit the claim and see what happens but I doubt the insurance will change their mind. So now I'm stuck with a bill for $300 for a 15 minute "consultation" that did not help me any at all.
I am also sad to find out that my insurance has such stupid rules, which means that either I give up the fertility tests or I pay for them myself, which I don't think we have the money for if one 15 minute exam costs $300. I'm thinking of calling the doctor that saw me after my chemical pregnancy - he told me that he could put me on hormones if I wanted to but he would rather wait and he could also do some tests right there in the hospital for me. So maybe the insurance will accept this because it's technically not "fertility treatment". Which reminds me that I have to call the insurance and see what's going on. I'm very bummed out today...not a good day!
Finally, at 9:45 the doctor came out to get me. He looked over my medical history (no major issues), asked me a few questions about my habits (don't smoke, don't drink, exercise occasionally) and then gave me a pep talk that his success rate is over 60% for women in my situation (under 35, no major health issues) so he's sure that I'll get pregnant quickly. He told me to schedule a semen analysis for my husband and a sonogram and HSG exam for me and that was it. I was out in 15 minutes. He was very positive (although in a very learned manner) so I felt pretty good about him and on top of that I noticed he had been on the cover of the Washingtonian magazine several times as one of the top specialists in the DC area so I walked out of his office in a good mood.
Then I met with the nurse to take care of the details. She gave me a lot of papers to look over and told me to call the office on the first day of my next period. The sonogram is done on a particular day of your cycle and the HSG has to be done after my period is over and before ovulation. I guess the HSG is a little painful because they ask you to take 600 mg of ibuprofen before you go. Bu they say it only hurts a little, like cramps. The semen analysis is the fun part my husband gets to do. As the nurse said - we, women, get to be poked and probed, and the guys just have to masturbate looking at porn magazines, how unfair!
So now on to the bad part - I went to check out and was told that my insurance does not cover this visit so I'll have to pay the full amount in full, approximately $300. Needless to say I was very surprised because I had checked in advance and the doctor was covered by my PPO plan. So I went to the billing department to see what's going on and the woman there told me that my insurance covers exams but not fertility consultations and once you are diagnosed with "infertility" they do not cover anything. I told her I was not aware I was diagnosed with infertility and I was referred to them to have some tests done to find out whether I had infertility. She was very rude and told me that if I have been trying for a year and not gotten pregnant I was considered infertile. I got very upset and asked to see a manager, which wasn't much help at all. I told her that they were supposed to check with my insurance beforehand and inform me if there were nay problems to which she responded that they tried to call the insurance but they must have written their number incorrectly so they could not call them. Considering I made my appointment 2 weeks prior, they had plenty of time to call me and get the correct number, but she said that people are human and make mistakes. By that point I was just outraged by their rudeness, upset that I had to pay over $300 and just generally very emotional so I told her that I do not agree with what they are saying but I will pay the money if I have no other choice. I just wanted to leave! She continued telling me that it was my fault I did not contact my insurance, even though I had already explained to her that I did and I had no way of knowing that I was going to have a "consultation" and not an "exam" which is covered but I was very sad because of the way they were treating me. So in the end, they agreed to try to submit the claim and see what happens but I doubt the insurance will change their mind. So now I'm stuck with a bill for $300 for a 15 minute "consultation" that did not help me any at all.
I am also sad to find out that my insurance has such stupid rules, which means that either I give up the fertility tests or I pay for them myself, which I don't think we have the money for if one 15 minute exam costs $300. I'm thinking of calling the doctor that saw me after my chemical pregnancy - he told me that he could put me on hormones if I wanted to but he would rather wait and he could also do some tests right there in the hospital for me. So maybe the insurance will accept this because it's technically not "fertility treatment". Which reminds me that I have to call the insurance and see what's going on. I'm very bummed out today...not a good day!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Ovulation time is approaching
I was talking to one of my good friends from NY today and she said that all of her girlfriends were having babies or getting pregnant all of a sudden and she was starting to feel the baby fever. Unfortunately for her she is graduating from law school this year and she cannot have a baby now because it will jeopardize her entire career. She has to wait for at least 3-4 years until she makes partner or has a solid enough job to be able to afford to go on maternity. It's weird how in some industries it's so difficult for women to have a family. She's always been very modern and career-oriented and she did not plan to have babies before she was 35 but now she told me she is starting to want a baby and has been kind of sad recently. I told her about us trying to get pregnant and she told me that one of her friends just started trying two months ago and is already prego. Damn it, seems like everyone else can get pregnant in a heartbeat.
I am such a planner in my personal life and this is the one thing I cannot plan or predict or really do anything about so it's been driving me nuts.
I think I'll be ovulation this Sunday or Monday so now is a good time to start TTC heavily, but I've been so tired recently and I almost feel like we've tried so many months and nothing happened that I don't know what I'll do this month. I guess I'll try not to push it and be a crazy wacko woman but it will be hard. Wish me luck!
I am such a planner in my personal life and this is the one thing I cannot plan or predict or really do anything about so it's been driving me nuts.
I think I'll be ovulation this Sunday or Monday so now is a good time to start TTC heavily, but I've been so tired recently and I almost feel like we've tried so many months and nothing happened that I don't know what I'll do this month. I guess I'll try not to push it and be a crazy wacko woman but it will be hard. Wish me luck!
Britney is pregnant again
Well, it's official! Britney Spears is pregnant again! There have been rumors for a couple of months now and some people kept saying leave her alone, she just has not lost the weight from the first baby while others were sure that she was preggers again but I guess she's finally showing too much and she officially admitted it. This boy Kevin Federline must be some kind of a sperminator. I mean, honestly, within less than 4 years he got 2 women pregnant twice. What's up with that? I can't help but be jealous - how do you get pregnant so quickly? Have to check whether Gwen Stefani already had her baby; I have not been keeping up on my celebrity gossip.
I have been pretty busy at work recently and on top of that my brother is still staying with us (he decided to extend his trip by a few more weeks) so I have not had much time to think about pregnancy and babies. The other day my friend H brought the twins to work - they have grown so much in 2 weeks. They're 6 weeks now and are gaining weight by the minute, especially the girl who was much smaller at birth, now is the same size as her brother. H's paid leave is over this week and she's taking another month off unpaid but I guess the reality of going back to work is looming and she told me that she absolutely does not feel like it. She wants to stay at home with the babies as much as possible and she's scared that once she goes back to work she won't get to see them a lot. But unfortunately they cannot afford to live on one person's salary so she's going to have to go back. But I can totally see how I'd want to stay home with the baby as much as I can. When I was born, my mom got a whole year of paid maternity leave to take care of me (that's Europe though, they don't do that in the US ever.)
We went to Las Vegas again last weekend (lost money but had a really good time and got a bit of a tan) and had to take the redeye flight back and go to work straight from the airport so I've been feeling exhausted this whole week. I feel that because I cannot get what I want (get pregnant) I am obsessed about traveling and shopping. I guess I just need to have something positive to think about so that I don't think about babies and pregnancy all the time.
I have been pretty busy at work recently and on top of that my brother is still staying with us (he decided to extend his trip by a few more weeks) so I have not had much time to think about pregnancy and babies. The other day my friend H brought the twins to work - they have grown so much in 2 weeks. They're 6 weeks now and are gaining weight by the minute, especially the girl who was much smaller at birth, now is the same size as her brother. H's paid leave is over this week and she's taking another month off unpaid but I guess the reality of going back to work is looming and she told me that she absolutely does not feel like it. She wants to stay at home with the babies as much as possible and she's scared that once she goes back to work she won't get to see them a lot. But unfortunately they cannot afford to live on one person's salary so she's going to have to go back. But I can totally see how I'd want to stay home with the baby as much as I can. When I was born, my mom got a whole year of paid maternity leave to take care of me (that's Europe though, they don't do that in the US ever.)
We went to Las Vegas again last weekend (lost money but had a really good time and got a bit of a tan) and had to take the redeye flight back and go to work straight from the airport so I've been feeling exhausted this whole week. I feel that because I cannot get what I want (get pregnant) I am obsessed about traveling and shopping. I guess I just need to have something positive to think about so that I don't think about babies and pregnancy all the time.
My first test
On Wednesday I went to the doctor to have my ovulation tests done. She had told me I needed to have that test on the 3rd day of my period. I'm not sure what the exact name of the test is but it basically checks your supply of eggs and the levels of some hormones in your body. It's just a simple blood test (although no blood test is simple for me since I'm afraid of needles) and I got the results on Thursday. Apparently everything is OK - me levels are fine and I seem to have a good supply of eggs. My OB/GYN said this was the only test she could do, for more specific tests I should call a specialist.
So I called the fertility specialist that she had recommended to me and luckily they had an opening for May 23 so I'm going to see him then. I'm anxious to see him but on the other hand I'm a little scared because I've heard a lot of scary stories about the side effects of hormones and that some of the tests that you taka are pretty painful. But I just have to do it; I cannot keep torturing myself not knowing what's going on. My husband was a little hesitant when I told him that I had made an appointment with a fertility specialist and that most likely he'll have to have his sperm tested. He sees that as some kind of failure, like we are not able to do it the normal way and he is also scared that he may be the reason why we are not pregnant, which is sort of a failure for him but I keep telling him that we just need to find out what it is and hopefully everything will be OK.
So I called the fertility specialist that she had recommended to me and luckily they had an opening for May 23 so I'm going to see him then. I'm anxious to see him but on the other hand I'm a little scared because I've heard a lot of scary stories about the side effects of hormones and that some of the tests that you taka are pretty painful. But I just have to do it; I cannot keep torturing myself not knowing what's going on. My husband was a little hesitant when I told him that I had made an appointment with a fertility specialist and that most likely he'll have to have his sperm tested. He sees that as some kind of failure, like we are not able to do it the normal way and he is also scared that he may be the reason why we are not pregnant, which is sort of a failure for him but I keep telling him that we just need to find out what it is and hopefully everything will be OK.
Not pregnant again!
So I spent the entire last weekend checking myself for pregnancy symptoms and driving myself crazy. On Friday I felt soreness in my boobs but not anything major so I kept secretly touching them at work to see whether they felt harder or larger. Good thing no one saw me, otherwise I would have looked like a pervert :) So I would just pretend that I was adjusting my bra and touch my breasts with my wrist or the back of my hand. Weird, I know, things we pregnancy-obsessed people do.
On Saturday my boobs were back to normal but so I lost any hope of being pregnant but them on Sunday I felt super tired the whole day and felt like I needed a nap the entire day. That got my hopes up and I convinced myself that I was extremely tired and had to go to bed at 10 pm. But I noticed that my discharge had disappeared and I did not have any other symptoms so in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't happening.
So I wasn't too surprised (but still disappointed) when I got my period on Monday. I know we weren’t really trying this month but you can't help but hope for a miracle. Actually, considering I got my period on Monday, means that I ovulated the Monday 2 weeks ago and we did have sex on the Saturday and the Tuesday around that time so I could have gotten pregnant. But no, not this time either. My period came a day early so I guess this means that sometimes I ovulate a little earlier than I think. Anyways, I'm a little tired of this whole ovulation predicting, sex on command thing. I wish I had a magic wand that would make me get pregnant right away.
On Saturday my boobs were back to normal but so I lost any hope of being pregnant but them on Sunday I felt super tired the whole day and felt like I needed a nap the entire day. That got my hopes up and I convinced myself that I was extremely tired and had to go to bed at 10 pm. But I noticed that my discharge had disappeared and I did not have any other symptoms so in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't happening.
So I wasn't too surprised (but still disappointed) when I got my period on Monday. I know we weren’t really trying this month but you can't help but hope for a miracle. Actually, considering I got my period on Monday, means that I ovulated the Monday 2 weeks ago and we did have sex on the Saturday and the Tuesday around that time so I could have gotten pregnant. But no, not this time either. My period came a day early so I guess this means that sometimes I ovulate a little earlier than I think. Anyways, I'm a little tired of this whole ovulation predicting, sex on command thing. I wish I had a magic wand that would make me get pregnant right away.
Monday, May 08, 2006
I had a doctor's appointment
On Friday I went to see the doctor (finally) which was somewhat of a disappointment. I had not been to that practice before and I explained to them that my previous doctor had moved and had a very busy schedule now so that's why I was changing doctors. The doctor was very sweet and she asked me about my medical history, how long we had been trying, etc but she did not seem that concerned about my inability to get pregnant so far.
She said that one year of trying wasn't really that long and was not an indication of anything wrong. She also said that about 30% of pregnancies end of in miscarriages but many people don’t realize it because they don't monitor their bodies that closely so when a very early miscarriage happens they just think they got their period.
By the way, someone on the blog asked me what a "chemical pregnancy" was. It is basically a very early miscarriage where the egg and sperm connect and create an embryo but the embryo never attached to the uterus and is expelled from the body. It could be for many reasons but usually it's because either there is something wrong with the embryo so it's not viable and was never going to become a baby anyway or because there some kind a hormone deficiency in the mother's body (usually progesterone) to sustain the embryo development. Chemical pregnancies usually happen in the 5th or 6th week of the pregnancy and according to my doctor usually don't indicate any future problems conceiving but I'm still worried that if I had it once I may have it again.
Anyway, the doctor did a very quick exam and pap smear (I think this is standard) and told me that since we've been trying for a year, most insurances will cover the cost of infertility treatments if we want to go that route. She suggested we keep trying for a few more months because we did get pregnant once before (the chemical pregnancy) so she thinks that means we can get pregnant again naturally. But she did recommend two infertility specialists to me and said that if I wanted to I could make an appointment with them and start doing some tests. She told me that she can do the first test, which needs to be done on the 3rd day of my period and they test to see what my reserve of eggs is. After that, I can set up an appointment with the fertility specialist so they can test my husband's sperm and if both of these test don't show problems, then they can start doing more tests.
I know she probably sees many people in my situation and one year of trying does not seem like a long time for her but for me it is a lot and I cannot even imagine waiting a few more months so I'll call the fertility doctor this week and schedule an appointment. I know some people out there have been trying to get pregnant for years but I am just getting so tired of this. It's very nerve-wracking and it makes our sex life a little weird because it feels like we have to do it on command and in certain positions only and then I have to lie for 30 minutes afterwards with my legs in the air - it is just too weird. I wish I was one of those people who got pregnant easily!
My sister in law went to see a Native American healer last week. His name is Ted Silverhand, he's fairly well known in the Native American community and he does healings and is also a medium. My sister in law has been suffering from anxiety for a couple of years now and someone recommended to her to try to go to a healer instead of popping pills because they correct your energy levels, recommend meditations, etc. I was a little skeptical at first but definitely curious about what he was going to say. Most of the stuff that he told her was rather personal so I'm not going to mention it but I have to say that I was amazed at how much of the stuff he said was actually true (stuff that happened in the past and he had no way of knowing). But one of the things he mentioned was that we were going to get pregnant soon and have 2 kids in the next 5 years. After all the disappointments and the waiting, at least that makes me feel a little better and more hopeful. Yes, he could be a hoax, but he was right about so many other things so I'm hoping he's right about this as well.
She said that one year of trying wasn't really that long and was not an indication of anything wrong. She also said that about 30% of pregnancies end of in miscarriages but many people don’t realize it because they don't monitor their bodies that closely so when a very early miscarriage happens they just think they got their period.
By the way, someone on the blog asked me what a "chemical pregnancy" was. It is basically a very early miscarriage where the egg and sperm connect and create an embryo but the embryo never attached to the uterus and is expelled from the body. It could be for many reasons but usually it's because either there is something wrong with the embryo so it's not viable and was never going to become a baby anyway or because there some kind a hormone deficiency in the mother's body (usually progesterone) to sustain the embryo development. Chemical pregnancies usually happen in the 5th or 6th week of the pregnancy and according to my doctor usually don't indicate any future problems conceiving but I'm still worried that if I had it once I may have it again.
Anyway, the doctor did a very quick exam and pap smear (I think this is standard) and told me that since we've been trying for a year, most insurances will cover the cost of infertility treatments if we want to go that route. She suggested we keep trying for a few more months because we did get pregnant once before (the chemical pregnancy) so she thinks that means we can get pregnant again naturally. But she did recommend two infertility specialists to me and said that if I wanted to I could make an appointment with them and start doing some tests. She told me that she can do the first test, which needs to be done on the 3rd day of my period and they test to see what my reserve of eggs is. After that, I can set up an appointment with the fertility specialist so they can test my husband's sperm and if both of these test don't show problems, then they can start doing more tests.
I know she probably sees many people in my situation and one year of trying does not seem like a long time for her but for me it is a lot and I cannot even imagine waiting a few more months so I'll call the fertility doctor this week and schedule an appointment. I know some people out there have been trying to get pregnant for years but I am just getting so tired of this. It's very nerve-wracking and it makes our sex life a little weird because it feels like we have to do it on command and in certain positions only and then I have to lie for 30 minutes afterwards with my legs in the air - it is just too weird. I wish I was one of those people who got pregnant easily!
My sister in law went to see a Native American healer last week. His name is Ted Silverhand, he's fairly well known in the Native American community and he does healings and is also a medium. My sister in law has been suffering from anxiety for a couple of years now and someone recommended to her to try to go to a healer instead of popping pills because they correct your energy levels, recommend meditations, etc. I was a little skeptical at first but definitely curious about what he was going to say. Most of the stuff that he told her was rather personal so I'm not going to mention it but I have to say that I was amazed at how much of the stuff he said was actually true (stuff that happened in the past and he had no way of knowing). But one of the things he mentioned was that we were going to get pregnant soon and have 2 kids in the next 5 years. After all the disappointments and the waiting, at least that makes me feel a little better and more hopeful. Yes, he could be a hoax, but he was right about so many other things so I'm hoping he's right about this as well.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Dpo 8 and nothing
Today is dpo 8 and unfortunately I don't feel anything different. I know we didn't really try this month but still, we did have some action around ovulation time so there was still a chance. I turned on my "pregnancy symptom radar" this weekend because on Saturday night I was extremely tired and went to bed at 11 pm (which never happens - I don't usually go to bed before 12-12:30 am and of course have a really hard time waking up every morning and for a few seconds struggle with my self not to call in sick). But it turned out to be nothing since I did not feel that tired for the next couple of days so it was probably a one-off.
I've been checking my discharge too - it's pretty heavy but nothing abnormal and my breast feel pretty fine, no weird taste in my mouth, no indigestion...so nothing to give me any inclination that I may be pregnant. When I had my chemical pregnancy last year, I started having symptoms as soon as I missed my period (not earlier but then again that pregnancy did not last so it's not an indication). My boobs started feeling on the day after my missed period and by the end of week 5 were very painful. I also had indigestion and I was peeing every 1-2 hours, and had very heavy white discharge. However, I knew that something was wrong because I did not feel tired at all and I knew all my friends who were pregnant felt extremely tired for the first 1-2 months.
Well, I'm seeing a doctor on Friday so hopefully soon I'll know what's going on. I'm a little cared but I'm more anxious to know. I got a call from the doctor's office today asking me whether I could come in today at 11 am instead of Friday. Well, I would have loved to have I had some advance notice but being that I go to work every day I can't just take time off when I please so I had to decline. I thought that was a little weird but maybe they had a cancellation.
I had a party for by birthday on Sunday and some of my friends brought their babies. The baby twins got the most attention from everyone -they were so cute and peaceful and everyone wanted to hold them and to cuddle them. They are only 6 weeks old so still at the stage when they mostly eat and sleep so they just got passed around between all of my girlfriends and even my brother, who is 24 and very far from having babies, wanted to hold them. I have to admit I was a little jealous, I just couldn't help it. But I know my friend H struggled with infertility for a while and she's now so happy to have the twins that I am happy for her. I just want to have a baby of my own that's all.
But overall I had a lot of fun at the party, all of my good friends showed up, I got tons of nice gifts (I got lots of gift cards including $85 to my favorite store Forever 21) so I’m planning some major shopping in the next few weeks. By the way if you have not yet read the Shopaholic series of books – you have to read them. They are the perfect book for anyone who loves to shop and has been known to spend way too much on clothes and shoes. I’ve read all 5 of the books and I can’t wait for the next one to come out. Maybe this time she’ll be pregnant and shopping for maternity clothes :)
*2 days till doctor's appointment*
I've been checking my discharge too - it's pretty heavy but nothing abnormal and my breast feel pretty fine, no weird taste in my mouth, no indigestion...so nothing to give me any inclination that I may be pregnant. When I had my chemical pregnancy last year, I started having symptoms as soon as I missed my period (not earlier but then again that pregnancy did not last so it's not an indication). My boobs started feeling on the day after my missed period and by the end of week 5 were very painful. I also had indigestion and I was peeing every 1-2 hours, and had very heavy white discharge. However, I knew that something was wrong because I did not feel tired at all and I knew all my friends who were pregnant felt extremely tired for the first 1-2 months.
Well, I'm seeing a doctor on Friday so hopefully soon I'll know what's going on. I'm a little cared but I'm more anxious to know. I got a call from the doctor's office today asking me whether I could come in today at 11 am instead of Friday. Well, I would have loved to have I had some advance notice but being that I go to work every day I can't just take time off when I please so I had to decline. I thought that was a little weird but maybe they had a cancellation.
I had a party for by birthday on Sunday and some of my friends brought their babies. The baby twins got the most attention from everyone -they were so cute and peaceful and everyone wanted to hold them and to cuddle them. They are only 6 weeks old so still at the stage when they mostly eat and sleep so they just got passed around between all of my girlfriends and even my brother, who is 24 and very far from having babies, wanted to hold them. I have to admit I was a little jealous, I just couldn't help it. But I know my friend H struggled with infertility for a while and she's now so happy to have the twins that I am happy for her. I just want to have a baby of my own that's all.
But overall I had a lot of fun at the party, all of my good friends showed up, I got tons of nice gifts (I got lots of gift cards including $85 to my favorite store Forever 21) so I’m planning some major shopping in the next few weeks. By the way if you have not yet read the Shopaholic series of books – you have to read them. They are the perfect book for anyone who loves to shop and has been known to spend way too much on clothes and shoes. I’ve read all 5 of the books and I can’t wait for the next one to come out. Maybe this time she’ll be pregnant and shopping for maternity clothes :)
*2 days till doctor's appointment*
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