Today is 10 dpo and unfortunately I have no signs of pregnancy yet again! This is just so disappointing; I'm tired of this waiting month after month for nothing. I feel like God is not allowing me to have any kids yet and I know there must be a reason but I can't help being disappointed and upset every month. I'm almost at a point where I don't care because I can't keep torturing myself. There a lady writing a blog who has been trying for 9 years - I think that is the hardest thing in the world to keep your hopes up after 9 years. I really hope she succeeds and I hope I never get to that point, that would just kill me.
We went to Paramount's Kings Dominion this weekend (I had some free tickets from work). I am scared of roller coasters so me and my husband spent the day at the water park while my brother and my friend went to all the cool and scary rides. I wish I could go on the roller coaters but even the smallest ones make me get panic attacks so I would never dare. I did go on one when I was in high school. We were on a school trip in Austria and went to one of the big theme parks in Vienna, the Prater, so we all decided to go on a roller coaster. I had never even seen a coaster before and thought it would be loads of fun. Well, a few seconds into the ride I felt so sick and scared that I thought I was going to faint. I barely made it to the end of the ride (not that I had a choice) and then stumbled off of it and almost had a breakdown. So I've not dared get on one since then. I even get slightly sick on the Ferris Wheel :)
While we were in the water park I started feeling tenderness in my breasts so I got excited thinking it was something. But the tenderness subsided by the end of the day and I have not felt any other symptoms so I'm bummed.
I called Georgetown Hospital and made an appointment with the doctor who saw me after my chemical pregnancy. I hope there is some way he can help me without going through a fertility specialist because I just cannot afford one at this time. The earliest appointment they had was June 28 but I'll take whatever I can.
I still have to call my insurance to see what's going on because I read the full coverage details and it says that they cover tests related to infertility but not infertility treatments. You just never know with insurance companies, they always try to rip you off so I need to call them and at least try to have them cover my tests. Ugh, like I don't have enough to worry about.
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