December

One of my really got friends (not the one with the twins) was pregnant and due in early January so I decided to throw her a baby shower. Something to do and besides, I desperately wanted to feel part of the pregnancy process. She was already very pregnant and heavy and got tired easily and she was complaining that she could hardly wait for the baby to be born and all the time I just kept thinking I wish I was her. I constantly discussed every single detail of her pregnancy with her so between her and my other pregnant friend I already felt like I know more about pregnancy and babies than anyone else. Sort of like "always the bridesmaid, never the bride" but in regards to babies.

I kept reading pregnancy books all the time to the point where my husband became worried that I'm taking this too seriously. All the fun pregnancy books you can think of: "From Here to Maternity", "The Thin Blue Line", "Babyville" - I read them all. Before I finished one I was already on Amazon searching for another similar one until I pretty much read them all. I mean, I usually read a lot anyway, but this was too much even for me.

And, of course, all the celebrities was getting pregnant one of the other, so I saw pictures of Angelina Jolie, Katie Holmes, Gwen Stefani, Brooke Shields, all sporting a nice bump and cool pregnancy clothes. Urgh!

I was feeling down so we made a last minute decision to visit my parents for the holidays. They live in another country and I only see them a few times a year, so I thought it would be great to spend the holidays with them.

We were scheduled to fly out on the day before Christmas arriving at my parents the morning of Christmas day. So we left work early, loaded our suitcases in the car and left for the airport 4 hours before the flight - usually plenty of time. Well, not on this day. Everybody was driving somewhere or buying last minute gifts so the Capitol Beltway was jammed. After an hour we had hardly moved one exit. We tried to get off the Beltway and use some back roads but even they were packed so we ended up getting to the airport a little more than an hour before the flight. And, of course, the check-in lines were a mile long. United Airlines didn't really care about checking us in quickly so by the time we got to the front of the line our flight had already left. I was crying, my husband was yelling at the check-in person who told us there was no other flight they could put us on that night, it was just a nightmare. We spent 3 hours at the airport trying to work something out and finally they told us they can only put us on a flight the next day, which meant we would spent Christmas day in the air and would get to my parents the day after Christmas. By that point we were both really tired and didn't even care.

We got home around midnight and woke up on Christmas morning when we had amazing sex and I remember thinking, wouldn't it be great if I got pregnant on Christmas, it would be so amazing. I always believe that everything happened so a reason and I kept thinking maybe that's why we missed our flight; so that I would get pregnant (it was exactly around my ovulation time.)

We spent a week at my parents' and had a really good time, except for the fact that there was no chance for us to have sex because we did not have much privacy and we traveled around to see some relatives and it just wasn't possible to have sex. But I figured at least we had sex on Christmas, the timing was right, so if it was meant to be, then it will happen (I was trying to be Zen)

Well, it did not happen and I got my period shortly after we came back from vacation.